Are you thinking of cheating on your spouse? Read this first.
Why you should not have an affair
If you’ve been married for any length of time you’ve probably had thoughts…thoughts about what it would be like to be with someone else if only for an evening or afternoon. The thrill of something new, the hormonal surge that comes with new sexual conquest, the spice of variety in your life and a break from the mundane, and even the thrilling fear of being caught! It can all be very intoxicating especially when you’ve been with your spouse for 5, 10, 15 years or longer. Often these are only thoughts, revisited semi-regularly when things are really stale or even difficult with your spouse. However, all too often, an active thought in a particular area carried on long enough will lead to taking action.
The whole scenario can intensify 10-fold if an unexpected opportunity presents itself in some other compartment of your life (work, social gatherings with friends, chance meetings, or even running into old flames). These opportunities will eventually rear their ugly heads in every married person’s life. When it happens to you will you have the mettle to resist? Or will you give in to carnal desires and find ways to cheat, have an affair or one night stand? Or will you take the road less travelled and say “NO! No affair, no cheating, I want to be the increasingly rare person who does not cheat on my spouse when the opportunity arises”. I say this to you: “Don’t have an affair!”. Today I’ve got a handful of tips to help you take that high road and travel a path that is almost sure to be happier, less stressful, morally edifying, and character-building than taking the easy way out and giving into temptation.
Practical Tips to Help You NOT Cheat On Your Spouse
First, before any of this is going to be relevant or helpful to you, you need to decide one thing: are you committed to your spouse and your marriage? Or was it just some ceremony you went through because it was simply the next step in the progression, you were tired of dating, and you wanted guaranteed sex on a regular basis? Ok, if you’ve decided that despite your frustrations, your spouse’s shortcomings, the lack of excitement and spontaneity in your marriage, you do have at least a shred of commitment left and a flicker of the flame that once blazed like the sun, then I’ve got some simple advice for you.
Tip 1: Find a great picture of your spouse alone or with you and make it the wallpaper on the homescreen of your phone. This will be a constant reminder of him or her, and the good and happy picture will help remind you of when things were better, hotter, more exciting between the two of you. I mean, doesn’t everyone want to stand out as an individual these days? Well, I say be one of the rare ones out there today that doesn’t see marriage as an arrangement of convenience to be discarded or ignored when it doesn’t serve your selfish needs. DON’T HAVE AN AFFAIR! See your spouse’s face dozens of times a day and be reminded of the spark and the love that brought you together in the first place. Maybe an older picture from those times is a good idea if you are really struggling.
Tip 2: If you have children, remember them and the fact that they are co-creations between you, your spouse, and God. They are a living miracle possible ONLY by the unique union between you and your spouse…the one you fell in love with, pledged your life to, and have built something of substance with. A one night stand in a desperate effort to assuage your own insecurities puts their future at risk and will not cure you of your unhappiness, hang-ups, or disillusionment. It will likely deepen your dissatisfaction, feed your cynicism, and douse the fires of your true passions. That one night stand doesn’t look so great now does it? Don’t do it then…don’t cheat on your spouse, carry on long empty affairs, or try to pep yourself and your ego up with meaningless, yet devastatingly harmful infidelity.
Tip 3: Make sure you hug and kiss your spouse and tell them you love them before you leave the house each day…no matter how busy or crazy your mornings might be. It is a simple act and can be done in as little as 5-10 seconds. Yet, far too frequently in marriages that are marching on in years, this simple, yet crucial act of affection and acknowledgement of love and togetherness is cast aside as a silly, unnecessary thing that can wait until your monthly date night or simply be forgotten altogether in lieu of your once a week “appointment” for sex. Sex and spontaneous affection are not interchangeable and serve entirely different purposes, so don’t leave either one out of the relationship or you WILL pay the consequences. I guarantee it.